You are tired. You need the kind of rest that only I can give you. You’re tired of hoping for a moment of peace but being jarred to life with a call that something has happened and you need to rush to your parents’ side. I am in those moments.
I am in those moments when you are pleading for Me to give you a break. I am there when you drive to your parents’ house early in the morning because your Father has fallen and you need to help him get up. I am in those moments when he stumbles down the hall and you wonder how much longer it will be before he can’t walk at all. I am in those moments of small victories, when he is able to grasp a spoon and feed himself, when he takes his medicine and is able to sleep soundly for hours. I am in those moments at night when your parents have gone to bed and even though you’re tired, you stay awake, spending time doing something you want to do to escape the situation and get a reprieve. I am in those moments when you are listening for My voice, asking Me what you should do.
I am in the moments when friends come over to sit with your Father so you can have a minute to yourself. I am in those moments when you’ve pushed yourself so hard that you’re starting to get sick and need Airborn and Emergen-C to keep going. I am in the moments that you need to go to the store but just cannot deal with taking your Father with you because you don’t have the emotional energy to push him around in a wheelchair and balance groceries in his lap.
I am in every moment Child, working behind the scenes, protecting your Father every time he falls. I am in the laughter you find in comments your Father makes or shows that you watch. I am in the moments when people you don’t even know are praying for you and your parents. I am in the blessings you never saw coming, the new volunteer that hospice has provided and the adult day center that is now open and has a place for your Father.
I see it all and I am there, loving you, providing for you, giving you strength and encouragement. I am your Father and I love you more than you can comprehend. This is the hardest thing you’ve ever done. But I am with you, when you sense My presence and when you don’t.
I am pouring more of Myself into you during this time so that you will look more like my Son. I am filling you with My Holy Spirit so you can have an abundant life, even in the midst of a disease. I see it all, from beginning to end. I see how the things I’m teaching you now will be used for what I have for you next.
You’re learning to let go. You’re learning that I love you no matter what you do. You’re learning to forgive those who aren’t even sorry. You’re learning how not to lean on your own understanding but trust Me with your whole heart. I’m pruning you. I’ve been pruning you for years and I know that it hurts. But I am right there in the moments that it hurts and I see the fruit that will come forth inside you when you are yielded to Me.
I know your breaking point. I know when you keep hitting walls you wish were never there. I am in those moments too. But I am not just an observer. I am fully and completely engaged in every aspect of your life. I am right there with you, not just when you call on Me. I am pouring Myself into you and helping you so you can help others. I’ve given you grace for this life you’re living. I’ve flooded you with My grace. You don’t lack anything. You have everything you need and I will never leave you or forsake you. You are mine. You are My beloved and I bought you with My blood. I have redeemed you and called you to Myself. I am increasing your capacity to give, to give until it hurts and then give some more, because that is unconditional love, the kind of love I have for you.
You are not an experiment, like a lab rat being poked and prodded. You are My Child. I have gifted you with specific qualities and I will use those in an even greater way because of this difficult season of your life. You are precious to Me and You are Mine. I love you with a love you cannot even fathom. You long for Me because you long for love, the kind of love that sees everything you’re going through and holds you together in the midst of it. I do not give love. I am love. It is who I am, so when you long for love, you long for Me.
I have brought many people around you to help you. Your life is a lesson in how the body of Christ depends upon each member to carry the load and do its part. The truth of who I am and what I’ve given you is learned during the difficult times. That is why you are going through this.
I am in every single moment Child. The happy ones, the blessed ones and the ones where you’re pulling your hair out. I am right there with you every step of the way and I will always be. I will never leave you or forsake you because you My Child are Mine.